


Snappy Pappy

by Monster Merlin (ScribeAzari)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Gen, Pre-Canon, brotherly teasing, but also brotherly encouragement, potentially pre-undyrus, undyne mentioned but not present
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 18:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17430914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScribeAzari/pseuds/Monster%20Merlin
Summary: After a long day of training, Papyrus is frustrated, and Sans takes an interest.





	Snappy Pappy

Papyrus was fuming to himself again, grumbling darkly as he scoured the house for mess. If Sans hadn’t somehow managed to embed his sock into the floor, it would never have survived the purge. “s’matter, boss? undyne rattlin’ yer bones again? i’m startin’ t’ think you’re obsessed.” The slob himself commented with affected idleness, though a scarlet glitter of sly interest flickered through his eyes.

What was he playing at? Didn’t he realise what nonsense he was talking? Crossly, Papyrus straightened up from his assault on the grime lurking beneath the sofa cushions, arms folded as he fixed his brother with a narrow glare. “JUST  _ WHAT _ GIVES YOU THE IDEA THAT I AM RATTLED, SANS?” He demanded, the sour sharpness of stung pride seeping through a little in his snappish tone. His brother’s wolfish grin widened, and a chuckle escaped him - much to Papyrus’ irritation. Just what was so funny?

“you always go on a cleanliness rampage when somethin’s buggin’ you, have done for ages.” Sans reminded him breezily, clearly enjoying this far too much. He was just opening his mouth to put forward a rebuttal, when the cheeky layabout had the nerve to shush him. “as for it bein’ undyne? well, even if you  _ hadn’t _ just got back from trainin’,  _ it’s been her almost every time i’ve asked for _ months.”

Papyrus’ jaw clicked shut, and he stared as though Sans had sprouted a unicorn horn. Was… was that true? Casting his mind back in search of memories, he realised that yes, yes it was. Apart from his usual irritable injunctions that his lazy lump of a brother stop slacking, most of what he’d ranted to Sans about had involved Undyne. How important and powerful she was, how skilled and fluid her spear wielding was, how confident, respected and feared she was, how passionately her warrior spirit burned… How hard it was to impress her, how much he wanted to challenge and surpass her skills, how envious he was of her reputation, how frustrated he was that she didn’t seem to think he was ready for the Royal Guard…

Oh stars, was Sans actually  _ right? _ Was this obsession? He didn’t know what to think, and he must have looked as dumbfounded as he felt, because Sans was wheezing with laughter. Cheekbones burning crimson with embarrassed indignation, Papyrus twitched.  _ "NNNNN!” _ His arms were ramrod straight at his sides, hands balled into fists as he fought down the frustrated shriek that threatened to escape him.

“an’ the light finally dawns.” Sans chipped in, once he’d recovered his breath, leaning on the back of the sofa for support. “s’not like this is anythin’ new - who was it standin’ around waitin’ at her door all night, desp’rate for her t’ train ‘em? oh yeah, you. you did that.” He wanted to scream at his smaller brother, to yell out that  _ of course _ he had waited all night, that he had to show her that he had the dedication and persistence for the job - but that would just give Sans what he wanted, wouldn’t it?

Taking a deep, slow breath, Papyrus forced down the tension and relaxed his stance. He didn’t have to rise to his brother’s bait - he wasn’t a babybones any more. “SO WHAT IF I  _ AM _ OBSESSED? UNDYNE IS A PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE FOCUS FOR MY ATTENTION. I SEE HER PRACTICALLY  _ EVERY DAY _ , SANS - AND UNLIKE  _ SOME _ PEOPLE,  _ SHE _ WILL ACTUALLY TRAIN WITH ME!  _ IMAGINE THAT.  _ YES, I MUST ADMIT, I MAY HAVE MENTIONED HER QUITE A LOT - BUT IN CASE YOU HADN’T NOTICED, SHE’S  _ KIND OF A BIG DEAL. _ SHE’S THE HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD, FOR STARS’ SAKES! BEING TRAINED BY SOMEONE LIKE HER IS AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY.” He chanced a look towards his brother, to see whether any of his pearls of wisdom had percolated into that thick skull - it wasn’t as though Sans wasn’t smart, but he could be so  _ obtuse _ sometimes.

Instead of looking chastised, or even irritated, Sans looked… speculative. Still amused, but speculative nonetheless. “yeah, an amazin’ opportunity, head of the royal guard, yadda yadda - an’ she took you on, one on one. even though she’s prolly got a buncha prospects comin’ in through the usual channels, an’ you’re the dingus who loitered around her door ‘til she said yes. even though you don’t exactly got a stellar track record with keepin’ yer temper. tibia honest, i kinda thought she was pullin’ yer leg when she agreed t’ sign you on - but she wasn’t.”

In any other circumstance he could think of, Papyrus would have vehemently protested Sans’ punning ways, but… his breath was too busy catching against his teeth as his brother’s words rolled around in his skull like demented marbles. “so, what’s got yer tail in a twist this time, eh?”

For a moment, it seemed as though Papyrus was going to yell at Sans, or at least bury his face in his hands and suppress a screech again - instead, he took another long, slow breath, counting in his head until he trusted himself not to give in to the urge to raise his voice. With a sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nasal cavity - looked as though Sans had won this one. “I SHOWED HER THAT ROUTINE I WAS TALKING ABOUT, THE ONE I CONCOCTED TO EXEMPLIFY THE BRILLIANCE OF MY PRECISION AND CONTROL…”

Sans made a soft sound, demonstrating that he was paying attention - well he had better have been, after all that. “FOR A MINUTE, I COULD SWEAR SHE WAS IMPRESSED! THERE SHE WAS, EYE WIDE AND GLEAMING, ABSOLUTELY SILENT INSTEAD OF YELLING, ALL OF HER ATTENTION ON ME - I THOUGHT I’D FINALLY DONE IT, SANS, IT REALLY LOOKED AS THOUGH SHE BELIEVED IN ME - BUT THEN SHE STARTED  _ TEASING _ ME! SHE CALLED ME  _ LITTLE SNAPPY PAPPY, _ OF ALL THINGS, AND THEN SHE RAN ME RAGGED DOING  _ ALL KINDS _ OF EXHAUSTING DRILLS! I’M NOT  _ THAT _ MUCH SHORTER THAN SHE IS, AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND, AND IT’S  _ REALLY ANNOYING!” _

Wandering closer, Sans gave his brother a pat on the back, smirking at the image Papyrus conjured up of the scene. This was too good. “well, if she didn’t think y’were up t’ snuff, why bother puttin’ you through yer paces like that? there’s plenty she could be doin’ with her time, if she didn’t think y’were worth the effort.” That… that was actually a good point - Sans was on a roll today - and Papyrus latched onto it whole-heartedly. Maybe he  _ had _ impressed her, and she wanted to make sure it wasn’t a fluke? He had to better it, he had to think of something else…

His gaze fell on Sans, and something clicked in his mind - he’d pestered his brother to teach him something way back when he was smaller, but been refused - back when… “SANS… DIDN’T  _ YOU _ USE TO CALL ME  _ SNAPPY PAPPY?”   _ His voice curled, too-sweet and brittle-bright as his brother’s expression froze. As did his fingers, which were poised above the keys of…  _ "WHO ARE YOU TEXTING? SAAAANSS!!”  _ A mad scramble ensued.

Minutes later, Papyrus sat primly atop his brother’s resigned form, deleting the message suggesting some more childhood nicknames to tease him with next time. It seemed Sans had been in cahoots with her,  _ somehow _ , and egging her on all the while. “IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE THIS PHONE AGAIN IN ONE PIECE, YOU’RE GOING TO TEACH ME THE THING -  _ YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHICH THING, DON’T GIVE ME THAT _ \- AND YOU’RE  _ NOT _ GOING TO WARN UNDYNE. ARE WE CLEAR?” He demanded crisply, peering down at his brother’s face as he stowed the offending item in his inventory.  
  
Sans looked mutinous for a second or two, but he seemed to think better of it. “… fine, you win.” This time for sure, he’d blow her away. Maybe literally. Then she’d  _ definitely _ believe in him.


End file.
